So.... it's been a while. A lot has happened since my last post.

I guess I'm just checking in to see if anyone missed me lol

~PJ

So, if any of you have been wondering where I've been, I recently got addicted to Facebook. I've been reconnecting with childhood and high school friends. It's been kind of weird because I haven't talked to most of them for over 14 years, but it's great at the same time. I've been spending WAY to much time on there. The funny thing about it is that the things I've been posting on there got the attention of the hometown gossip who also happens to be a close neighbor of my parents. So what did I do? I posted something along the lines of "I'm a lesbian and I'm proud of it!" They all should have seen it coming anyway, considering how I acted and dressed when I was growing up. My mom isn't too happy about that, but I think it's about time all the hometown crowd knew about me. They've been gossiping and speculating about it for years, I'm sure.

Anyway, Cheyenne has been keeping me busy and in shape with biking, frisbee golfing and fishing lately. I have so much fun when I'm with her. She's just not wanting a relationship right now, or in the next five years for that matter. I'm really REALLY hoping she'll change her mind. Cuz I like her. A LOT.

Love and hugs all around,

~PJ

Pretty much every friend and close friend I've ever had has told me that I'm a good listener. I don't mind listening to other people's problems- I believe that's part of what being a true friend means. But is it so wrong of me to expect them to return the favor? I know it sounds selfish, but I really think that it would be nice once in a while to have someone listen to me. I keep all these thoughts and feeling bottled up inside until I do or say something to let them all out, usually something so extreme that I offend those close to me and make everyone else think I'm totally crazy (and I don't think they are too far off on that).

I don't think I should have to pay someone to just shut up, sit down, and listen to what I have to say without interrupting. Is that too much to ask?




~PJ

I officially met Dennis back in November right after I started working the graveyard shift (I never got his last name). He has been driving through Moab for several years for different companies. I started calling him my pro-bono therapist, meaning basically that he was my therapist for free. He would often take time to listen to me gripe and complain about one failed relationship after another, as well as my struggle with depression and how hard it is sometimes to deal with my family not accepting my lifestyle. He gave me loads of good advice as well as encouraged me to just keep living and try to be happy with what life has dealt me.  

Well, about a month ago he told me that the company he drives for lost their contract (what with the economy being the way it is) and that he is going to retire, meaning I will probably never see him again. I'm not really sure why, but it has made me extremely sad. I will really miss him. I made sure he knew how grateful I am for the time he gave me, and I really hope he has a lot of good karma come back to him.

Things like this happen to me a lot. I'm not complaining about it; I think it's really awesome how people let other people, often complete strangers, into their lives and end up really caring about them. I think that's the case with pretty much everyone on my f-list here. I've only met one person from my f-list, randombattlecry , and that was back in 2007. The rest of you I will probably never meet, unless by some twist of fate I get enough money to fly around the country and visit you all. And if that happens, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!  I don't know if Random ever recovered from my visit. I think I may have seriously creeped her out, hunting her down in her little northern Cali tourist town.

So I guess to sum everything up, I'm just very grateful and I feel very blessed that you all have let me into your lives and you have all touched my life in some positive way. Although we may never meet, I am grateful that you call me your friend.

Love and hugs to all,

~PJ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY citizenjess !!!!



May the Force be with you!!

~PJ

There are lots of reasons why I love living here in Moab, mountain biking being my most recent reason. Yesterday I went biking with some friends on the Gemini Bridges trail. It's a killer is some spots, but well worth the aches and pains I'm suffering now. I bought a nice bike Cheyenne found for me, and we are spending a lot more time together biking around town and on all the bike trails around here. And I feel so much better getting out and exercising and I'm losing weight, which is always a bonus.

This here is my bike. I'm trying to think of a proper name for it. So far I've come up with Yoda, Princess, and PJ. What do you all think?




These are my friends Cheyenne and Angel. We had lots of fun yesterday. We all have the same type of sense of humor so it makes for an amusing time.



Very much looking forward to our next adventure!

Love and hugs all around,

~PJ

The other day I texted my lady friend to ask her if I had left my hat in her car. Her response was the following: 

"OMG!!!! A dyke without her hat! That just wont do!!"

I laughed for a full 10 minutes.

We've been joking about that since then, about how dykes are so attached to things like hats, belt buckles, all kinds of piercings, bikes and motorcycles. Oh, and tattoos as well. I don't have any tatts (yet) but she has some pretty cool ones that definitely fit her character. She's a real riot. We spend most of our time together laughing. She's so much fun to be around.

Just wanted to share.

Hugs all around,

~PJ

Working the graveyard shift has it's many advantages, two of which are that there aren't that many people who come in the store and that I am allowed to listen to my MP3 player (which is hooked up to a small set of speakers). Besides the nightly dose of caffeine, it's my music that keeps me going. I have gotten a few strange looks when songs like "Screwing You on the Beach at Night", "S.E.X.", and "Y'all Want a Single" come on, but I enjoy my music.  Occasionally the following song by The Offspring will come on and I can't help but laugh through the entire thing.

( She's got issues.... )

Besides the obvious, this song could definitely be about me. Whenever it comes on though I think about my first girlfriend. I wont take you through that whole dramatic story, lets just say that she's got issues, and some of my issues are caused by her issues projecting onto my issues. (WTF?????)

It amuses me, nonetheless.

Spent yesterday (my friday) hanging out with C, my new ladyfriend. She works at a bike shop and has found me a nice moutain bike so I don't have to borrow one every time we go riding. The problem now is how do I afford it. I need to get it paid for ASAP or the owners will find someone else to buy it. Donations anyone? We took it for a test ride and then went to do our laundry together. We have a place here called Zax where you can go to the bar while you are waiting for your laundry because they are in the same building. I just love that.  

Not sure what I'm gonna do today- my apartment is clean for the first time in months and I got the yardwork done last week. I think I'll just sleep all day.  :D

Love and hugs to all,

~PJ

Last thursday I went mountain biking for the first time with my future girlfriend (she would kill me if she found out that I call her that). Mountain biking is her passion and besides that she works at a bike repair shop and she loves it. We went again yesterday, only we only went 12 miles instead of 25. My ass is still sore from last week, and yesterday only made it worse. She told me that it will take a while for my backside to get used to riding, so I guess that means she is expecting me to keep going with her to the trails around here. The thing I love most about it is it gets me out and exercizing, not to mention I get to spend the time with someone who I'm attracted to and who I'm hoping likes me too. Occasionally when she gets frustrated with the guys at work she'll drop by my apartment and we'll sit in the shade and have a few beers and talk about whatever. We have the same type of sarcastic sense of humor, and she makes me laugh a lot. What kind of amazes me about the whole thing is that we are both Aries. All the other friends I've had who are Aries have made me so crazy I almost wanted to kill them.

So anyway, here's a pic of three of us who went on the 25 miler. The lady I like is on the far left. Her name is Cheyenne, but everyone calls her Chey.
 

I tried taking pics of her yesterday but she wouldn't let me. Camera shy I guess. I'm definitely looking forward to next week, although I don't think my backside is. There's really only one reason why I go, and it's not for the scenery......


Hugs all around!

~PJ

Happy Birthdaycelticheart531 !!!!


I hope you have a fabtabulous day!!!

Lots of love,

~PJ


ps. Special thanks tolourdesmont for the pic!

I've often been accused, mostly by my family, of being too childish and have had several people tell me I need to grow up and act my age. My most common answer is, What's the fun in that? I often tell myself that if life had dealt me a different hand, or rather if I wasn't attracted to other women, maybe things would be different. But that's a big maybe. My wardrobe consists of t-shirts and jeans. Most of my shirts are Star Wars and rest of them say things like "I'm not very smart but I can lift heavy things", "Heavily Medicated for your Safety", and "Hello, I see the assassins have failed". I drive a minivan. I'm single. I work at a gas station. And, on occasions when I feel like it, I shave my head. Those of you who have been on my f-list since I joined know I've done that 4 other times. This time I did it as a sort of  silent protest against growing up.

My oldest sister has been married for almost 11 years and her husband wants a divorce. My family has been expecting this for a couple of years now, so it's not really a surprise. The thing is though is that I've told my parents that if her husband leaves her that I would move in with her to help her with the kids and just be there for moral support. That was one of the reasons I moved down here to Moab, so I would live closer to her. But now that the time has come, I don't want to leave. Sure, most of my time here has been a roller-coaster ride of emotional stress, but overall I really like it here. There are some very wonderful people here, and I'm not afraid to be myself around them. I've been making plans to go back to school and find a better job, as well as continuing the seemingly impossible task of finding someone to love who can stand to be around me for more than five minutes.

My sister lives out in the middle of nowhere Arizona. I probably wouldn't be able to find a job there, and I definitely wouldn't be able to find any local lesbians. *sigh* Maybe I'm just being childish.


~PJ

I've been in 2 serious car accidents in my life and I never broke any bones or had any serious lasting injuries. The first was in 1995 when I was working at a guest ranch just outside of Jackson Hole Wyoming. To get to the ranch you have to drive for a couple of hours on a windy road with lots of washboards. Well, being the smart person that I am (insert sarcasm) I was trying to find a radio station and was not watching the road and ended up rolling the car off a cliff. Fortunately for me a group of trees stopped the car before it rolled into the lake. I ended up with a seatbelt bruise, stitches behind my ear, a few cuts and scrapes, and had to see a chiropractor for my neck, but that was it. It was my oldest sisters car though, and she has never let me forget it.

The second one was in 1999 when I was driving my mom, younger sister and future brother-in-law home from a volleyball game in Park City (about an hour and a half drive from my hometown). We were about 30 minutes from home when I slammed into a 7 point elk. OMG that thing was HUGE. Fortunately we were all in seatbelts so we all had seatbelt bruises and me and my mom got scratches from the airbags and a little bit of glass in our eyes.  When the cops came they were amazed because looking at the van they thought that whoever was in the front seats was either dead or severely injured.

Since then I've had a few minor fender-benders but nothing that serious. I must have an invisible force field protecting me or something. :P
Or I'm just being extra careful now.

Love and hugs to all,

~PJ

Hi!

Did you know that the military is still discharging soldiers for being openly gay?

One of these soldiers is California's own Lt. Dan Choi, who is also an Arabic linguist. In March, Lt. Choi went on Rachel Maddow's show and spoke honestly about his sexual orientation. As a result, the Army sent him a letter of discharge on April 23. Lt. Choi is now fighting the discharge and fighting the discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

I just signed a Courage Campaign petition to President Obama -- signed by more than 100,000 people --  urging him to do the right thing by stopping the discharge of Lt. Dan Choi and other LGBT soldiers, and asking President Obama to uphold his promise to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."  The Courage Campaign will deliver this petition to the president -- that's why it is important that as many people as possible speak out right now.

Will you join me in signing and urge your friends to do the same?:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/DontFireDan

Thanks!

PJ